You Can’t Shake On It — What you CAN do now

You have relied on a handshake to “say” so much for so long. From “hello,” “nice to meet you” and “I am sorry” to “goodbye,” “good luck” and “you’ve got a deal!” Paired with appropriate eye contact, it makes a strong first impression. A firm handshake shows confidence in yourself and your abilities. In negotiations, the dynamic duo of a strong grip and good eye contact can convey your willingness to reach a mutually beneficial agreement. A handshake is a powerful way to personally connect with another person; it can convey your personality and intentions. When done properly, it’s a great self-promotional tool.

And now, it’s dead.

“I don’t think we should ever shake hands ever again, to be honest with you,” Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, said during a Wall Street Journal podcast. “Not only would it be good to prevent coronavirus disease — it probably would decrease instances of influenza dramatically in this country.”

A longtime proponent of abolishing the handshake, Fauci has been on a mission of sorts, making his case in an interview with Sinclair Broadcast Group, saying society should “just forget about shaking hands. We don’t need to shake hands. We’ve got to break that custom.”

The ritual gesture of shaking hands may be a carryover from days when people walked around with weapons. A handshake was said to be proof you were unarmed and came in peace, with neither anything in your holster nor up your sleeve.

The popularity of the American handshake may have originated with the Quakers in the 1700s. They used it as a great equalizer, a more democratic type of greeting than the then common bow, tip of the hat or curtsy.

We are not the first to contemplate adopting less germy greetings. In 1929, nurse Leila Given wrote about studies showing that handshakes spread germs in the American Journal of Nursing and proposed some zero-contact substitutes, referring to hands as “agents of bacterial transfer.” Given advocated that Americans adopt the Chinese greeting of shaking one’s own hand together. She said, “at least our bacteria would then stay at home.”

So, what can we do? Well, we can either borrow some zero-contact greetings from other cultures or try to come up with one of our own.

People in Thailand greet one another with a ‘wai’ — a bow, elbows in, hands clasped as if in prayer. Similar to the handshake, this gesture is said to derive from the Indian tradition and date from the 12th century, to show that you were not clasping a weapon in either hand. Thais use this as their go-to greeting to say “hello” and “goodbye” as well as to thank others, apologize, and venerate. A Wai is also appropriate in a business setting.

Here is where things get complicated. In Thailand, the position of the hands and the depth of the bow should vary according to the other person’s seniority.

The wai is not used for anybody who is serving you, to children or foreigners; the latter could offend your Thai colleagues. Thais do not wai to their friends, either.

Americans have tried to come up with their own handshake substitute. President Obama popularized the Fist Bump. Unfortunately, the natural location of the fist brings up concerns about the dreaded hand to hand transmission. The other problem with the fist bump is that it’s more appealing for men greeting other men, or for kids, than for widespread use.

The Elbow Bump is another alternative. It involves touching body parts that are considered within the “safety zone” — the area from shoulder to wrist that is considered safe to touch in the American workplace. The first problem with the elbow bump is that if we don’t have a tissue handy, we are all schooled to “vampire sneeze” into the inside of our elbows, rendering Elbow Bumps, uh, well, a bit gross. The other issue with the Elbow Bump is that, like its cousin the fist bump, it seems destined to be more of a “Bro Hello” than a mainstream greeting.

“The Footshake” has blown up on the internet, — and it does look like fun — but I can’t see that lasting when we are wearing dress shoes again.

Their individual shortcomings, combined with the World Health Organization’s directive that we remain six feet away from each other, rules Fist Bumps, Elbow Bumps and The Footshake out.

If you’re the warm fuzzy type, you may like these options: Ethiopian microbiologist and World Health Organization Director-General, Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, has taken to greeting people by putting his hand on his heart. The Hindu “Namaste” placing your hands together over your heart that we all learned in yoga class is another possibility.

Former US Presidential Candidate, Andrew Yang, even suggested that we use Spock’s Vulcan Salute, which is kind of cool but awkward.

The Chinese “Gong Sho” qualifies as zero-contact because one person greets another with one fist covered by their own other hand.

I have been conducting a little field research on this myself, testing various zero-contact greetings during my daily forays out of the house. I have been conducting my research on literally everyone whose path I cross (at a safe distance, I assure you!). The most satisfying and impactful greeting seems to be a hybrid, stacking multiple modes of noncontact greeting. My personal favorite is head nod + wave + eye contact or, if you’re not comfortable with the thought of slightly bowing your head, try smile + wave + eye contact (genuine smiles can be seen, even under masks!) Either way, the eye contact is the glue that really cements the connection.

Whatever we choose, the time is now. In the words of Charles Darwin, “It is not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change.”